Letter from a homosexual struggler

Below is a letter I received a while back from a friend of mine, a former minister of another denomination, who struggles with homosexuality. I met with him and befriended him during a crisis time in his life, when he lost his church because of his homosexual activity. He believes homosexuality is wrong, and wants to change, but it is hard. He now lives in another state, so we don't meet together any longer, but we still correspond from time to time.
He has given my permission to quote him. To protect his identity, I have waited a while to publish his letter, and I have edited some of the names and personal references. What he says needs to be heard by the conservative, evangelical church.
Here is part of his letter:

The priest at a local [name of denomination] church recently contacted me regarding a position at his parish. Shortly after leaving [name of church] Church, that parish had advertised for an administrator. I had applied since I needed work as well I figured that making sure the yard got cut, the toilets flushed, etc. wasn't out of the bounds of my abilities and the limitations of my"situation." Well, he and I talked back then, but the position was only a part-time thing and I needed full-time work, so it ended there. Lo and behold, he called recently and asked if I was interested in working in Christian ed for them. I explained to him my status and all and he still wanted to talk to me. He said he felt led to pursue this with me. He knew a little of what had happened, but, of course, not all the dirty details. Even after that second talk, he still wanted to pursue things. He and his leadership are willing to take the risk involved, and, even though this would only be a part-time position and requires me to continue to work full-time at [name of department store], I really would love to feel useful again. It's so difficult to go day by day feeling totally useless and insignificant, and walking around as an example of failure in ministry. I would be working on a consultant basis and not as a regular employee as another way to distance the parish from any negative reactions as I'm sure the grapevine will begin its work once it filters out.

I know that on several levels you might think this a bad idea, bad for the church as a risk, bad for me as someone who is still so wounded and fragile, bad for me someone so much more conservative (at least in belief if not in practice) from this priest, etc. I am taking all that in account, but both my counselor in [name of city] and my ex-wife [name] have been very positive about the way this is structured and all as a means of bringing me back to the land of the living.

One thing in this has been hard to swallow in this however. It has been the "liberals" and gays that have been the most practically helpful to me in [name of city].
It was a gay business owner who first gave me a job and a place to live, another gay [name of business] is providing me a place to live now, the manager of [name of department store], which employs some openly gay managers and salesmen, has been just great about my schedule and all, and it's a pro-gay priest who is giving me a chance at ministry again. What kind of message does that send, Bob?

He asks a good question, doesn't he? If we are going to say that homosexuality is a sin, are we willing to help the sinner change? Or will he find that the only person who really cares about him are those who consider homosexuality a normal lifestyle?

Movie review: "Fireproof"

This past Tuesday my wife and I saw an early pre-release screening of Fireproof, the new movie from Sherwood Baptist Church of Albany, Georgia, the same people who did Facing the Giants and Flywheel. (Can they make a movie that doesn't start with the letter "F"?)
The movie opens September 26 in 800 theaters across the country, but we were given the opportunity to see an early showing for ministers. They handed out tissue at first, and I gave the tissue to my wife and said, "Here, you may need this." She handed a piece back to me and said, "You may need it, too." She was right.
Fireproof is a better film than Facing the Giants for several reasons. For one thing, they spent more money on the movie, which made for better acting (professional actor Kirk Cameron played the fireman), better quality cinematography and more realistic action scenes. They spent $500,000 on this movie, which is a low-budget film by Hollywood standards, but Facing the Giants was done for $100,000.
But more importantly, the storyline of Fireproof was much more believable than Facing the Giants. There were no miracles in the sky, just a gut-wrenching, struggling marriage. The movie pulls no punches in showing how hard it is to work out a marriage. Men and women will relate to the characters, and it will force couples to evaluate how they treat the man or woman in their lives. The movie makes great use of humor, like in the former Sherwood movies, but this time the humor is more sophisticated, particularly the use of the recurring theme of the neighbor who watches the fireman lose his temper.
Fireproof is very clear about presenting the gospel, and does so in a way that is very appealing and reasonable. It shows how Christ is the answer to our struggles with marriage, and does so without preaching to the audience, rather, the movie lets the audience discover this truth alongside of the struggling husband and wife.
I enjoyed Facing the Giants, and while I enjoyed Fireproof, it was much more than that. Fireproof caused me and my wife to talk about our marriage relationship as we drove home. I believe that God will use this movie to strengthen good marriages and save struggling marriages. I would encourage anybody who is married and anybody who is thinking about getting married to go see this movie. When you do, don't thank me for recommending it. Don't even thank Sherwood Baptist Church for making the movie. Thank God, who made marriage.

NOTE: Read the first comment below for information about how you can get tickets for the showing our church has booked on Saturday, September 27.

UPDATE: The movie Fireproof opened on Friday night, September 26, and was the third most popular movie that night, even though it was only in 839 theaters, whereas the 5 movies that were behind Fireproof in popularity were showing on 2,500 screens.

The Uncontrollable Tongue!

“The Uncontrollable Tongue” (James 3:1-18)

Words can have enormous power for good or for evil. The Nazi dictator of Germany, Adolf Hitler, was famous for making powerful speeches. His racist speeches and diabolical book of political theory, Mein Kampf, inflamed Germany into war with the world that cost the lives of 72 million people. For every page of the 720-page first edition of Mein Kampf, approximately 100,000 people died in World War II. What a horrible price for hateful words!

The New Testament letter of James, chapter 3, gives a wise warning about the uncontrollable tongue.

The chapter begins by warning teachers, who use their tongues quite a bit, of how our tongues can get out of control. Many inspiring movies have been made about influential teachers, such as Dead Poets Society and Freedom Writers. But we have also heard horror stories of teachers who said the wrong thing and devastated their hearers. For example, Ward Churchill, professor at the University of Colorado, created a huge stir when he said that America got what it deserved in the terrorist attacks of 9/11.

My friend Dr. Chuck Pourciau, pastor in Shreveport, Louisiana, tells about the time he was doing a graveside service and the wrong words slipped out. He was burying Sister Bertha, and Sister Susie, her best friend, was sitting with the family under the tent. As he said his final prayer, Pastor Chuck said, “Thank you, Lord, that Sister Susie….” He suddenly realized that he had called the name of the friend under the tent instead of the deceased under the ground. What was he going to do if he continued? Say, “Thank you, Lord, that Sister Susie isn’t dead too?” So he just had to start over and say, “Thank you, Lord that sister Bertha knew you…” As James says, “we all stumble in many ways.”

We have all said things that we wished we had not said. Often they are harmless words, like my preacher friend Chuck. However, sometimes a slip of the tongue can cause great harm. During World War II the slogan “loose lips sink ships” reminded Americans to guard their tongues lest they reveal American secrets to the enemy. Gossip, hateful criticism and mean-spirited put-downs can leave emotional scars that last a lifetime.

Somebody might object that the tongue is a small thing, so how can it be so bad? In response, James gives three examples of small things that control big things. He uses the illustration of bits into the mouths of horses and a very small rudder that directs a ship. The tongue is like that, because it is small but has great power. Then James uses another illustration of the tongue as a small fire that can burn down a forest. Remember the fires around Waycross, Georgia in 2007? Within a day, the wildfire burned a 9-mile path through rural timberland. In the end, the massive fire would burn a footprint, up to 30 miles wide and 58 miles long. The total cost is estimated at more than $54 million.

James focuses on the tongue as a fire. He notes how it is set, how it stains, and who is its source. First, the tongue is like a fire set in the middle of what it destroys. It is “a world of evil among the parts of the body.” Second, the tongue stains everything, because it “corrupts the whole person.” Third, the tongue’s source is Satan, for it is “set on fire by hell.” The word translated hell is the word Gehenna, the continuously burning garbage dump outside Jerusalem, which came to represent the eternal fire of the place of judgment in the afterlife. Thus Satan himself, the father of liars (John 8:44), is the source of the tongue’s evil.

"For every creature…has been tamed by man," James says. Yet even the most disciplined, kindest people have at some time said things that they wished they could take back. James adds that while man has tamed animals, "no man can tame the tongue."

So how do we get control of our tongues? James has already mentioned the solution to this problem earlier in his letter: “Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil excess, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you” (James 1:21). The only way for Christians to get control of our words is for Jesus Christ, who is the Word made flesh, to get control of us.

So let me give you two things that you can do to get control over your tongue:

First, if you don’t begin your day in prayer and Bible reading, start the habit immediately. As I said, we must receive the implanted word. We must let Jesus, who is the Word of God made flesh, get control of our words. By beginning the day with Christ, we set the tone for our tongues the rest of the day.

Second, try a 24-hour experiment. Let me ask you a question. Can you go 24 hours without saying an unkind word to another person or about another person? If you cannot, you have a problem. If you cannot go 24 hours with a smoke, your addicted to nicotine. If you cannot go 24 hours without a drink, you’re addicted to alcohol. So why don’t you break your tongue addiction? Make a conscious effort to go 24 hours without saying anything critical about anybody. Do it with your family. Make it a game, that if you say anything critical, you have to put money in your coin bank for world hunger. Try it for 24 hours. If you fail, put the money in the coin bank, and try it again the next 24 hours. Keep doing it until God gets control of your tongue.

Yes, the tongue is uncontrollable, but Christ can help us control our tongues.